Back on the To-Do List

I am a list person.

I make one every day, and many times the night before. When I worked full time, it was my To-Do List that kept me on top of things and employed. Now it functions to keep me sane. In fact, I'll get up at two in the morning after a feeding (the baby's - not mine) to write down a few things on my list so I don't forget them the next day.

There's a sense of control and relief that I get when I write things down. If it's on paper, it will get done. Maybe not that day, but soon. It will not slip my mind. If I don't write them down, those thoughts and intentions - however important or enjoyable - are prone to slipping off into the haze of my mind to mingle with irretrievable song lyrics, phone numbers and birthdays - never to be thought of again. At least, not until it's too late to accomplish them.

My lists usually are comprised of mundane tasks: vacuum, dr. appt at 2pm, clean fridge, call Kaisner (homebuilder) about squeaky floor, etc... On a slow day, I'll even write down a task that I would normally do, solely for the satisfaction of crossing that something off. Brush teeth. Check. Go to bathroom. Check. Shower. Check. (although, showers are becoming a sort of luxury with the little dude).

However, this past Monday I was watching Oprah. As much as I hate to cite her two posts in a row, something she said gave me my own "Ah-Ha Moment", if you will. Her show on Monday was all about the importance of putting yourself back on your To-Do List. It sounds simple, but for someone like me who lives her life by her list, it's a big deal. And I realized that day, which happened to be D-Day for my resolutions, that it was the first time in a VERY LONG time that I actually did have myself on my list. I had the usual things (laundry, mail thank-you letters, etc...). But nestled in there with those items were "Go to the Gym" and "Tan".

Anyone who knew me pre-Hayden knows that I was an avid worker-outer. From freshmen year of college until the + sign showed up on the stick, I could be found on the treadmill, stepper or elliptical 5 days a week. But after scares early in pregnancy with Hayden, I decided my body wanted to chill out. Unfortunately, it has "chilled out" for almost 4 years now. Going back to the gym has given me a bit of my old self back. With Gwen Stefani's "Wind It Up" blaring in my headphones, I am one bad mother on a 4-mile-per-hour mission.

And let's face it, tanning is not the best thing for you. I know. But there's something about a little bit of color that makes the pale belly, legs & face seem a bit more toned and glowy. I love optical illusions. Plus, I'm looking at it as Vitamin-D Therapy.

Whether you're a working mom, stay-at-home mom or empty nester with grandchildren...it's so easy to put yourself either on the bottom of the list, or not on the list at all. Maybe there's some type of martyrdom complex we develop the moment our children peek their heads out of our hoo-has. We think that if we sacrifice and stress and go, go, go...we're being good moms and will someday be rewarded.

I'm thinking we can do both. Do the hard stuff but ALSO do some fun things for ourselves. One small thing on the list every day. Even if it's just "paint toenails", "call old friend from high school" or "'alone time' with the hubbie" (yes, you can schedule that). I think these things will culminate into one larger sense of well being.

Now granted, not all "good" things for us on our to do list are fun. Weight Watchers is not "fun" for me. Eating a bag of Cheetos is. But that gratification is temporary, and losing my baby weight and feeling better about myself is much more satisfying and longer lasting...but not easy.

I have a good friend in St. Louis who put herself back on her to-do list a year ago by going back to school to get her teaching degree. She works full time at a great job, goes to school at night and all the while is a wonderful wife & mom to a busy three-year-old. But she put herself on her list so that she can eventually become a teacher and have more time to spend with her family. Putting "go back to school" on the list is not an easy task, but it's bettering her life.

My aunt Rae wrote something about this yesterday in her blog, Finding Thin. Sometimes she takes the words out of my head and puts them down in a much more interesting way than I ever could. If you're on the weight loss journey, this is a great blog to check daily for inspiration and laughs.

Anyway, I'm not sure what I'll put on my list today. At this point, it's all cleaning items since we're having guests this weekend. But I vow to put at least one good thing for me on there. Maybe I'll print some photos and put them in pretty frames to smile at me around house. Maybe I'll finally use that Victoria's Secret gift card online and await, with childlike excitement, some fabulous 5/$25 underwear. (I'm sorry...in Victoria's Secret world, they're called "panties") Or maybe I'll think of something else in the next hour or two. Something I've never done before.

Regardless, I will be on my list. And if you're not already, you should put yourself on your list today too. You deserve it. Plus, Oprah said to.